Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize