bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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