Whod you bang
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This baby is an asshole
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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