What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
