I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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