Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
