Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
