I think I won the penis lottery.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
