I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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