i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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