I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My cat gives me a boner
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize