okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
