what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
