I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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