I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
