I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
