I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have post one night stand depression
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
