I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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