but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
