You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize