Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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