just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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