kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
