Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
