That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
