i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
