Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
