apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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