I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
