There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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