dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
