just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
