I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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