Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
