we're chasing vodka with high fives
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
