scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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