I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
