Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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