I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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