He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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