I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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