Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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