I'm lost and stupid without you.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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