Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
