I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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