sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
