Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
