he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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