dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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