...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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