it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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