Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
