grandma shit on top of the toilet
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
