Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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