i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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