You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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