Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This is my gift to your gina
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
