Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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