Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
