Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So vagazzling was a success
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
