It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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