You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
