lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
