The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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