mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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