Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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