xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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