My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
