i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
time to smoke my breakfast
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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