you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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