I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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